World's Best Father

After three and a half years of free airplane rides, Alice Bee is finally old enough to return the favor

After three and a half years of free airplane rides, Alice Bee is finally old enough to return the favor

This is what childhood is all about.

This is what childhood is all about.

I’ve been waiting over three years for Alice Bee to start coming up with ideas for our photo shoots, and this image is the first of what will hopefully be an ongoing attempt to digitally bring her imagination to life. Last week, when I asked her (as I have been unsuccessfully doing every Saturday for months) if she had any ideas for a photo shoot, she excitedly exclaimed “I could be in the garden, pulling Daddy like a weed!”

I’ve been waiting over three years for Alice Bee to start coming up with ideas for our photo shoots, and this image is the first of what will hopefully be an ongoing attempt to digitally bring her imagination to life. 
Last week, when I asked her (as I have been unsuccessfully doing every Saturday for months) if she had any ideas for a photo shoot, she excitedly exclaimed “I could be in the garden, pulling Daddy like a weed!”

Nothing I love more than a good old fashioned 4th of July hotdog eating contest…except when I have to go up against Alice Bee.  No matter how tough the competition, she always finds a way to prevail. 

Coolest photo prop ever #selfie #wienermobile

Coolest photo prop ever #selfie #wienermobile

The best part about getting invited to an Indian wedding has to be getting to help Alice Bee shop for attire.

The best part about getting invited to an Indian wedding has to be getting to help Alice Bee shop for attire.

I was sitting in the living room and noticed that Alice Bee’s pajama bottoms were on the floor. “Why aren’t you wearing any pants?” I yelled as I picked them up and walked into the kitchen, where I was then startled to find her sitting crab style, hands on the floor, feet raised and backside firmly pressed against the refrigerator door. She proudly looked up at me and proclaimed “I’m making a bum print!”

TOP 5 THINGS I’VE LEARNED ABOUT BEING A DAD

1. Bath time is awesome.image

From the early days of washing them in the sink (or bucket or whatever other vessel is at hand) to experiencing their joyous splashing in the tub, nothing is more fun than bath time, and nothing in the world smells more heavenly than a freshly clean baby.  Even the parts after bath are awesome—wrapping them up in a cuddly towel like a big burrito, smelling their hair as you comb through it, and getting those adorably cute pajamas on for bedtime are all sensory gold.  In fact, the only time bath time is not awesome is when it’s been 2 hours and the kid still doesn’t want to get out of the tub.

2.  The only thing routine about bedtime routine is it’s never routine. image

Bedtime is an emotional roller coaster.  The first 15-20 minutes, when you’re tucking in, cuddling, reading stories, singing silly songs, are everything that is good about being a parent.  But beware—these calm moments will lull you into a false sense of security, multiplying your pain a thousand fold for the next one to three hours while your demon spawn is suddenly “NOT TIRED!” and demanding treats, water, 75 more stories—basically anything to keep them from getting the sleep you know they so desperately need. 

3. Privacy is a thing of the past. image

Curiosity and a complete lack of any sort of sense of boundaries means that you are going to be seeing a LOT more of your toddler (and vice versa) than you probably ever anticipated. 

4.  The house will get trashed and your favorite things will be destroyed. image

 And this is ok.  Material possessions become less important when compared to the sheer joy of watching your child develop, and a great anecdote is always more valuable than a new coat of paint.

5. Tea parties can actually be fun. image

As can Legos, fire trucks, dollhouses, digging for worms, and eating imaginary food for the millionth time. Once you’ve come to terms with the fact that your opponent is ALWAYS going to cheat at Chutes n Ladders or that the tea party you’re currently attending is going to keep you from checking your email for the next 3 hours, it’s fun to just let go and enjoy these moments that will all too soon be nothing more than fond memories. 

Happy Father’s Day!  

For more father/daughter fun, check out "Confessions of the World’s Best Father"

I always thought Alice Bee would be a little older before she started wearing makeup.

I always thought Alice Bee would be a little older before she started wearing makeup.